When bad speeches happen to good people

Are you capable of an Oscar winning performance or are you more likely to pick up a 'Razzie' for worst supporting speech?

Don't let a bad speech ruin your wedding.

We've all seen or heard of dreadful speeches at weddings, one slip of the tongue and you are a laughing stock. From inappropriate jokes and stories, to private jokes that no-one can relate to, there are so many ways that your speech can go from good to bad to plain ugly in seconds.

The pressure of wedding speeches can turn even the most confident public speaker into a gibbering wreck. Use our helpful tips below to sidestep around any bloopers and emerge as a victorious public speaker.

Avoid a 'Wedding Singer' moment on your big day

Them's the rules
There are three main things to consider when you are writing a speech, whether you're the groom, best man or father of the bride – Same rules apply….

Research and Preparation
Chances are, if you decide to write your speech the day before or even the morning of the wedding (yes I have seen this happen more than once…) you are more likely to have people sobbing in desperation than in joy.

You need to be planning your speech weeks in advance, you will be amazed at how many things you omitted to put into the first draft and how much you tweak and change things in the interim period.

Think about your audience, there is nothing worse than the Best Man droning on and on about the Groom’s unacceptable behaviour on his stag weekend, taped up to a lamppost in just his pants or likewise the Father of The Bride gushing on for hours about his wonderful daughter and completely failing to mention the groom or his part in her life.

Don’t just rely on your own experiences with the people in question, ask friends and family for their input and liaise with other speakers. The last thing you want to do is cover old ground after following on from someone else who got in there first.

The best speeches I've seen have been personal but ones that all guests can relate to and laugh along with. Forget cheesy puns and lines you've seen on TV, they've all been done to death. You need funny, light-hearted memories to share and ones that won’t cause any upset…!

Timings
Having seen many, many speeches I’m still undecided as to what is worse – A person who waffles on too long and loses the interest of all the guests or someone who barely says a few words with everyone looking at them expectantly. On second thoughts, probably the latter is the better of the two….

After an hour, Brian was struggling to follow Great Grandpa's speech & wondering how we got on to the topic of WWII

Timing is key to making a successful speech. We usually allow up to 10 minutes per speaker, which doesn’t sound long but when you try and talk for 10 minutes straight, it is harder than most people realise. There is no ‘perfect’ style for a speech, but the key is keeping it simple. Stay away from long paragraphs in favour of short, punchy, deliverable sentences and don’t use overly long or difficult words when a short one will suffice. You could crack the best joke in the world but if only you understand it you could find the joke on you.

Easier said than done but try not to rush your speech. Pause for breath and look at your audience. Practise, practise and practise some more! You want to know your speech inside out and back to front so you only have to glance at a prompt sheet to know where you are going next.

Sobriety
It sounds simple, but stay clear of the boozing until you get your speech out of the way. One drink to help settle your nerves is all well and good, but I for one have seen far too many speeches cut short or totter into dangerous territory after one too many glasses of complimentary wine.

That bevvie will taste all that much better when everyone is congratulating you and toasting your amazing speech.

I’ll drink to that!



Canapés & Champers
BBF
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Bridemaids Vs Bridesmares

Is your Maid of Honour turning into a Maid of Horror? Avoid pre-nuptial pitfalls with our Bridesmaid guide!

Your Bridesmaids, in particular your Maid of Honour, should be a tower of strength and support during the planning and execution of your Big Day. However, with great power comes great responsibility and sometimes the stress and pressure becomes too much for a friendship to handle. To avoid a situation like this, make your choices very carefully.

Ideally, you need someone who knows you well but also someone who is able to cope under pressure, take responsibility and someone who has a level head. This person is there to help you make decisions and give you honest opinions, so you need someone you can trust.

Enthusiasm from the bridesmaids is key to them fulfilling their role within the wedding. They have to want to be involved and if you sense a lack of willingness to go to fittings or help, then don't be afraid to question them. By agreeing to taking on your offer of the role, they have agreed to offer this help and support.

When it comes to dresses, it is important to listen to feedback from the bridesmaids. It's become a bit of a running joke that most bridesmaids detest their dresses. I suggest an initial brainstorming session between you and the bridesmaids and start by telling them your ideas (colours, cuts, themes) and go from there together to come up with some solid ideas. It's important to understand they have to feel confident and happy in what you have chosen, and what suits one person / body shape won't necessarily work for others!

By making the right choice of person and involving them in decisions and listening to what they have to say, hopefully you will have all of the help you need and a stronger friendship to boot after it’s all over and done.

Lace & Lapels


Julie & Abi
Your BBF
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Sweet, Sweet Music....

...Or cringey crooning?

Now you can have an endless choice of music for your ceremony, it's no small task to choose the right piece for you.....And it can be an important decision!



The right music should have your guests instantly thinking 'wedding' and 'you' but more than that, you should tie it in to the season and into your theme if possible.

We really have seen it all in music choice but the best advice we can give is make it really personal to you as a couple. Most songs can be sourced with instrumental versions, so almost anything can be made suitable. One of our favourites was actually a song by the heavy metal band Metallica 'Nothing Else Matters'. Done with an instrumental version it sounded absolutely fantastic!

Classics such as Pachelbel's Canon never goes out of fashion and we feel it sets the scene perfectly. You can't hear it without thinking 'wedding' and again there are many different versions to choose from.

For your signing music, it's not uncommon to try something a little different, tongue in cheek even. One of the best for this has to be Etta James, 'At Last' - Hint hint fellas. 

The leaving song after you have been announced tends to be a little more upbeat and we've had allsorts from the Traditional Wedding March (gets better the more you hear it!) to 'Dancing Queen' by Abba. For this moment, I think pretty much anything happy will be fine.

Happy listening and remember, class never goes out of fashion.

Jingles & Jewels,

Julie & Abi
Your BBF’s
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